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Merry merch and the year of car mukbangs

Nancy & Lisa: A look back on the wacky, the trendy and how restaurants became wearable.
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White Castle isn't the only restaurant chain to include a "shop" section on their website. |Photo courtesy of White Castle.

Nancy:

It’s my favorite time of year, Lisa, what with Jack Frost nipping at my nose and visions of sugar plums dancing in my head. Actually, that last is a little misleading; because what’s truly going through my mind are the amazing, amusing and head-scratching restaurant initiatives of the past year.

But before we get to that, please tell me the truth: Does this Christmas sweater make me look fat? I bought it at the Whatastore because I like the way it pictures Whataburger’s most popular items, like this cute little Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit right here under my left arm. 

I bet you didn’t know that the chain had a store, but really, my dear, doesn’t everyone? The holiday season has opened the floodgates to what I think of as Merch Madness, the whole phenomenon of restaurant-branded wearables that has been acknowledged and granted legitimacy by The New York Times. The paper ran an article late last month citing McDonald’s as a “source of style” and reporting its affiliation with some notable, higher-end fashion houses. 

You know, it strikes me that this story, which speaks to the mix of high and low, the juxtaposition of the mass market with the upmarket, pretty much represents the last 12 months in a nutshell.

From the upscale perspective, everywhere you looked you saw truffle-topped fries and lobster-laden bowls and salads. Caviar has been making guest appearances on lots more menus, while numerous independents have been gold dusting everything but the kitchen sink. 

From the mainstream perspective—I can’t believe I’m going to say this—it was the Year of the Chicken. Again. A recent RB headline declared “McDonald’s Is a Chicken Chain Now,” a breathtaking assertion that reflects the fact that “the company’s chicken business is ‘on par’ with its beef business.” 

And please don’t get me started on the whole nugget thing, which we’ve already chewed over and which you so very smartly characterized as the nugget-ization of the business. Its apparent unstoppability, taken together with the ongoing emergence of new sandwich chains like Dave’s Hot Chicken and HHC and the slow but steady incursion of Korean fried-chicken specialists like Bonchon and bb.q, suggests that chicken isn’t going to jump the shark anytime soon.

So, Lisa, care to share your thoughts on the year that was, or is the vision of me covered in tiny Whataburgers and fries all too much?

Lisa:

Nancy, there is no doubt in my mind that you wear your Whataburger well.

When I look back at the year that was 2023, my mind goes immediately to social media-fueled visions of people eating in their cars. And not just eating, but mukbanging, if that can be a verb, which has become so much a thing that Chipotle recently added to its merch line a $30 car napkin holder, which sold out in less than an hour.

Of course, you have to steal Chipotle napkins to fill it. “Hey Chipotle manager, I’m not stealing. I’m raising brand awareness.”

It seems a missed opportunity not to sell Mukbang Bibs. And I do wonder if car wash chains have been forced to develop new products to scrape dried sour cream mixed with honey vinaigrette (thank you Keith Lee) out of the car drink holder, but that’s not really Chipotle’s problem.

This was also the year the hype about plant-based concepts died.

There are still plant-based concepts growing (I refer you, Nancy, to continuing buzz around Slutty Vegan and Hart House) though some have closed. And, I assume, there are also still plenty of people who don’t eat meat or are trying to cut back. It’s the hype that appears to be dead and buried, and, frankly, RIP.

That whole trend needed to be brought back into context. The number of plant-based products at the National Restaurant Association show alone would suggest that not one human on God’s green earth would ever let an animal product pass their lips again. And perhaps that even lions, tigers and bears would also be switching from freshly killed moose or wildebeest to a nice hearty bit of soy with the right beet coloring to make it bleed.

It was the year of pickleball concepts (a trend my boss Jonathan Maze loves to diss but only because he knows I could crush him on the court). And also many other kinds of eatertainment venues, because people really want to come out and play. It was the revival of the experience economy, and restaurants of all kinds have been forced to think of ways to offer a little more than just food and drink for their guests to build traffic.

Whether a trivia game night or interactive dining, like hot pot or Korean barbecue, people are looking for something to do.

What have you found fun in your restaurant wanderings this year, Nancy?

Nancy:

Fun, you ask? Gosh, Lisa, there was more than enough in 2023 to fill both our Christmas stockings and then some. 

For starters, there were lots of cool, creative chain promotions, like the recent return engagement of Martha Stewart and Dunkin’.

You may recall that she popped up this past summer with a tongue-in-cheek lesson on how to properly shake, shake, shake iced coffee. Well, Martha’s shaking it again this holiday season with the Dunkintini, a nod to the raging popularity of the espresso martini, which, she assures us, people are drinking at any time of day and which sounds darn good to me right now. 

And since you mention bibs, Red Lobster stepped up with a nifty Prom Drip Bib this spring. Designed to “save nice clothes from melted butter, cocktail sauce or ranch dressing,” it was sized to drape fully over any outfit. One observer called it a cross between a raincoat and a tent, but I describe it as a smart, fun marketing ploy that might have application for The Füde Dinner Experience

This last is “a liberating space that celebrates our most pure selves through plant-based cooking, art, nudity and self love,” as reported by The New York Times. In other words, Lisa, you’re dining naked with a bunch of strangers, and all I can say about that is pass me a Prom Drip Bib and make my Dunkintini a double.

You reference the cooling down of all the uncontrolled hype around plant-based products, and I’d like to second that emotion with the ghost-kitchen phenomenon. It’s not disappearing, of course, but it is evolving pretty quickly, as the third-party delivery providers look for additional avenues to expand their reach beyond restaurants. 

One such opportunity comes courtesy of the Cinemark movie-theater chain based in Plano, Texas, which is working with all three major delivery services to provide patrons with “warm, buttery popcorn, crisp cold drinks and delicious snacks” that they can enjoy in the comfort of their homes. 

Hmm, color me skeptical from several viewpoints. But considering that concessions are a movie theater’s primary revenue stream these days, I’m going to sit back with a bowl of (non-Cinemark) popcorn and watch how this plot unfolds. 

Looking through my files for the past year, I find a January headline from Eater predicting that “Jelly Is Ready for Its Redemption Arc.” The author reviewed a book called “The Great Gelatin Revival,” which is chockablock with recipes for wiggly, jiggly jellies. The article also references a Facebook group called “Show Me Your Aspics,” which sounds like something right out of The Füde Dinner Experience and reminds me why I avoid making predictions. 

So, I’ve really been in a quandary about what to gift you until I came across tyromancy, an ancient art that’s been gaining a bit of modern-day traction. It’s like reading tea leaves, only it tells the future using Swiss or bleu or maybe even a nice Camembert cheese. 

A quick read of the cheeses shows that your days will be merry and bright, made more so by the intrepid, inspired and inspiring restaurants about whom we’re privileged to write. To them and to you, I can only say cheers! 

Happy 2024, Lisa—and please pass me the crackers.

Lisa:

Oh Nancy, that’s so incredibly thoughtful and I can’t wait to see what curdled future awaits.

And please check the mail for my gifts, which should arrive soon. There’s this cool Sweet Saba Year of the Rabbit ring from the restaurant Chifa here in LA, which will look great with this racerback tank top. Also there’s a White Castle snow globe. This ice mold from Chili’s so your ice can look like, um, chilis. And, of course, some Raising Cane’s shoe charms for your many pairs of Crocs.

And because it is nice to be nice to the nice, I also offer this free tip I spotted recently:

Apparently, Canada is so concerned about crazy Americans eating fake maple syrup in restaurants here, the country has offered to pay the extra cost for the real thing. So if you go to a restaurant and ask for real maple syrup, and you are charged extra, you can be reimbursed by Canada for the additional fee.

With that, I wish you and everyone reading a very sweet and profitable New Year.

 

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